After a particularly devastating loss it can be very, very hard to let go. But if you can ease into loosening your grip on what used to be, bit by bit, at your own pace, in your own way, you give the memories room to expand into all the love that’s in them and they become even more beautiful. Then you carry sublime treasures with you forever instead of roses on long stems that prick and hurt you.
Sometimes you are afraid to let yourself feel your grief because you think it will swallow you. You think if you give it even a tiny little opening it will swoop in and take you over. You become afraid that if you let that happen it will never let you go. You’re afraid you’ll become lost in it and never find the way back to any kind of life again. But it’s OK. It’s really OK. Because when that torrent of grief comes rushing in and makes it so you can’t breathe and you crumple in a wash of tears that won’t shut off, you are letting it go. It can’t stay when you’re not holding on to it. It needs a way to leave. It wants to leave but it needs your help. Find the safety you need to allow yourself to acknowledge it, not with your head, but with your heart. You have to feel it. That’s how the healing happens.